A Moment of Weakness

Nobody really, actually cares.

The only time I'm seeked out is when something is needed or wanted of me. Other times I'm a burden or a responsibility.

It isn't that surprising since I am the pioneer of the "everyone has an ulterior motive" movement.

I am a pushover because I want others to acknowledge me as the peacemaker.

Of course I bitch about it later because humans, even parents aren't telepaths or good psychologists when it comes to their children. I don't need you to placate me after by changing your minds, I want you to want to have my interests in mind SOME time.

I want to be human.

I don't want to be the stoic for life. I AM actually spoilt, needy, loving attention, loving love, needing some sort of verification or acknowledgement, I AM selfish and I AM very easy to hurt.

I do want it to be about me SOME time.

I DO want to fit in at times. I want what I want to matter at times. I want my offer, my sacrifice to be denied SOME times. I want you to say "no, you decided to come with us today so let's do something you want for a small part of today."

I want people to see through my stoicism. I do want people to notice that I want their attention although I won't actively go whoring for it.

I want people to know that I DO love. That when I love, I love with my soul and it does hurt when it's taken for granted.

..............

Back to business. I'm back. Nothing can hurt me, nothing can faze me. I don't care, I'm fine. I'm great. I survive.

I am, me.